8 Things to Expect in Mediation

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Mediation is increasing in popularity, mostly due to courts mandating disputing parties to at least try it before court proceedings commence. Some counties offer mediation services to its citizens and mediation services are available for hire. But, most people are still unsure about mediation; what it is, how much it costs, when to use it, and why to use it. So, let’s start clarifying some of those:

  1. What is mediation?

    Mediation is a process in which a third party neutral (the mediator) helps parties find, develop, and agree to a solution to the issue in dispute. Quite often, this issue is not the only or most pressing issue in dispute. Mediation can help clarify and address those as well. In most mediation practices, the mediator does not formulate or dictate any solution (this would be Arbitration). The mediator helps parties communicate, clarify their points and concerns, vent their frustrations, brainstorm ideas, and “reality check” possible solutions.

  2. Are mediators lawyers?

    Some are, some are not. Mediators do not have to be attorneys; but they have to be skilled in mediation. Mediators cannot give legal advice or counsel, even if they are attorneys. Once the "mediator hat" goes on, no legal advice can be given. Knowledge of the legal and court systems helps, though, to perform what we call "reality checks" on ideas, assumptions, and possible agreements. It can also help in contractual situations or when previous orders are in place.

    On the flip side, attorneys are not automatically mediators. Mediation and Law are distinct disciplines requiring different skill sets. While these sets share some similarities, the importance is in the distinction. This is addressed more below.

  3. How much does mediation cost?

    The better question is, “how much does it cost not to go to mediation?” But we’ll answer that in a bit. Mediation rates take three things into account: money, time, and division. On the money side, mediators usually charge by the hour and that can range from $100-$500/hour. It’s probably safe to assume they charge similar rates as attorneys—but that doesn’t me they cost the same. On the time side, the number of hours is what makes mediation affordable. Most mediations require approximately 3-5 hours. Total. So, a five-hour mediation at $200/hour costs $1,000. Then the division is applied. Each mediation is a shared-session between the parties, so they share the cost. Each party pays $500. For most mediation providers, their cost equation would look like this: (Cost/Hour x Number of Hours) / Number of parties (usually 2). The division is not automatic—the parties have to decide for themselves if this is how the fees are paid.

    Now, there’s usually a filing fee, or administration cost, or some other application cost. This can range from $20 and soar to $4,000. It’s important to ask about this possible fee.

  4. Ok, so how much does it cost not to go to mediation?

    That depends on several things: Court fees, attorneys’ fees for each party, length of court proceedings, appeals, legal retainer, etc. Some court avenues can take months to be adjudicated or settled by attorneys. In the above equation, $200/hour x 6 months (no division, since each party has their own legal representation) can reach into tens of thousands of dollars. Some cases require court adjudication, many do not. Mediation has a success rate right around 80%, so it’s no guarantee. But compare $900 to $20,000 and the reasons not to mediate dwindle.

  5. When to use mediation?

    Hopefully, mediation is at least discussed as soon as possible during disputes and disagreements. Mediation can be used any time, and judges have ordered parties to mediation. The best thing to do is to call a mediator or mediation service. Some (like us) offer a free initial consultation for each case to discuss if mediation is appropriate (e.g. for domestic violence cases, mediation is not appropriate), a quick Q&A, and possible next steps.

  6. Why use mediation?

    When a judge hands down a ruling, it’s non-negotiable (it can be appealed, but that’s neither cheap nor quick). There is a winner and a loser. The job of legal counsel is to get a “win”. There are two things this ignores: Is the judgement inclusive, and is the judgement sustainable? A judge doesn’t rule on personal relationships, how one feels, or restoration of one’s personal identity. Rarely is a dispute about one issue, so ruling on one issue often leaves other issues unaddressed. Mediation can address other issues, even those that may be hidden or ignored. This leads to the second pitfall; an agreement or solution that is developed by the parties themselves is significantly more sustainable than an adjudicated one.

  7. What should I do if I want mediation?

    Contact a mediator or mediation service to discuss your situation. They will then outline next steps including Agreement to Mediate, a Fee Agreement, scheduling, and other important issues.

  8. Ok, so what should I expect?

    While mediating is complicated, the mediation process is quite simple. After scheduling a mediation, all you have to do is show up and be forthright. If you don’t approach a mediation in good faith, or if you don’t show up, then it won’t work. Once both parties have arrived, the mediator will go over ground rules and have you sign some paperwork (some may be required by a court, or government agency where applicable). After paperwork, the process is up to the mediator. Some will want both sides to state their concerns; others may go straight to problem solving. Again, be candid to the mediator.

    Everything discussed in the mediation will remain confidential. If you would like to discuss something with the mediator in private, you may request a caucus—some mediators “build in” caucuses in their process. This allows for a little maneuvering around sensitive topics and keeps the process moving.

    Remember, the goal is to understand a problem and come to an agreement that satisfies your interests. Coming to an agreement for its own sake is counterproductive and can be damaging. Good mediators do not push for an agreement or persuade you to decide on a certain outcome. You own the result.

Of course, there are obstacles to mediation. The first is the default reaction we have to disputes that has been ingrained in us for decades: To win. Many people are reluctant to mediate because the think they will miss their chance at winning. Yet, winning a case is not the same as securing the best solution or solving a problem. It may be gratifying to be awarded a judgement or decision, but how far does that go? Is the problem solved 100%? If awarded a financial judgement, how is that enforced? And how long did it take; how much money did you spend?

The second hurdle mediation faces is that it is voluntary (unless ordered by the court). As mediators, we cannot force a mediation. As a result, many cases go to court only to be ordered to mediation, all the while the parties accruing costs in legal and attorney fees.

And finally, the third obstacle is that mediated settlements are not legally binding. It is up to the parties to uphold any agreement with the knowledge that if they break it, they're actions will not look good in future court proceedings. These obstacles seem to always get in the way, yet can be overcome in a single phone call.