Mediation can be the saving grace you’re looking for when caught up in a dispute. From parenting time to separation agreement to land use to business functions, mediation can help people, groups, and companies save time, money, and stress while resolving conflict issues. But how do you choose a mediator right for your situation?
Much like selecting an attorney, you want a mediator who is experienced with situations like yours. Unlike selecting an attorney, however, this is not paramount. The most important aspect of a good mediator is her/his skills in mediation, their mediation experience, and background in mediation. While content expertise (e.g. contracts) is rightfully sought out, it is not always necessary. A mediation requires someone with expertise in mediation first and foremost. A mediation conducted by an unexperienced mediator can be disastrous and inflict more damage and escalate the dispute.
So, what to look for.
Experience
Each mediation is unique and serves as education for the mediator. At the same time, certain aspects of mediation (and disputes) repeatedly show up, albeit in various forms. Mediators with years of experience are knowledgeable and adaptable, who can navigate situational muddy waters to help parties with their dispute.
Education
Some mediators are (also) educated and/or trained in mediation or other conflict management methods. Others might be also be attorneys or have their J.D. And many others have degrees in other fields, plus mediation training.
Location
Ideally, mediation should take place in person at a location that offers privacy. This isn’t always possible, and videoconferencing can be utilized if available. Some mediators work out of public settings (coffee shop, cafeteria, etc.), some have shared, community office space, and others have their own office and meeting rooms. You should select which every format with which you feel most comfortable.
Rate
Mediators hover around the $200/hour range, with some topping $500/hour. Affordability is always a consideration; keep in mind that the cost of mediation is usually shared by the parties. So, don’t let the per/hour rate shock you, just divide that number by the number parties.
Attorneys
Some attorneys are mediators, some mediators are attorneys. What’s the difference? In basic terms, it’s the mindset. Attorneys are advocates for their clients. Their goal is to put forth a compelling argument that favors their client’s chances of achieving a legal win. Nothing wrong with that in and of itself. In a mediation situation, “winning” isn’t the goal. Mediators are trained to put aside biases and deflect persuasion to one party or the other. That some mediators are also attorneys helps with some legal language and circumstances that are pertinent to the case and how agreements can be formed and/or applied.
Mediation Style
To many people’s surprise, there are different styles of mediation from Facilitative to Evaluative and everything in between. Some mediators have mastered two, maybe three, of these styles. It is very rare to have mastered them all. Finding a mediator with the appropriate style for your case can be challenging. If you are not sure which bests fits your case, or cannot find an appropriate mediator, then contact a mediation services provider. They have the knowledge to vet mediators’ experiences and styles, and to match them with the specifics your case demands.
It may be appropriate to utilize a dual-mediator model as well. Having two mediators may cost extra, but it also provides several benefits: One, having one male mediator and one female mediator can balance the sense of bias, even if there isn’t one. This is helpful in separation/divorce cases. Two, having an extra pair of ears as well as eyes to help catch details and subtleties is good for more numbers- or legal- based cases like estates, probate, and finances. Three, two mediators can work off of each other to ensure clarity, proofread documents, and increase endurance.
Technical
Sometimes the importance of location can be lessened to a degree if the mediator has teleconference or video conference abilities (Zoom, Skype, etc.). Today’s technology can accommodate mediation and while not ideal, it’s better than not mediating at all or using an inappropriate mediator. Of course, this depends on your ability to “distance conference”, but some local libraries offer accommodations.